Some people really have to work at keeping an open mind. It doesn't come naturally to them. Open-mindedness may even be one of their top values, and they may do wonderful things to champion tolerance and understanding among different groups of people; but in their natural state, these individuals find it challenging to really listen to others, and to empathize with points of view that are different from their own. Mastering these abilities requires persistent effort and immense self-discipline from such people, and I admire them for taking the challenge and working to develop this weak spot in their interpersonal arsenal.
There are many things I am not naturally good at in life. It's often the practical everyday stuff that gets me, like staying on top of my money and getting places on time and remembering what day of the week it is. These are pretty important areas of life to master, so I work on it. However, like everyone, I do have some positive abilities that just seem to happen without my trying. In my case, one of these abilities is keeping an open mind. I do not have to bend over backwards mentally to achieve this quality. It is more or less the atmosphere of my psyche.
I find it easy - almost annoyingly easy - to see multiple sides of an issue. It takes me twice as long as it should to read the news, because I'm always thinking about all the possible angles on the stories being presented. When I hear someone stating an opinion in a confident voice, even if I basically agree with what's being said, my head overflows with questions and checks; I am immediately aware that there are other ways to look at the issue, and I feel uneasy when I rule them out.
At the same time, I can look at an opinionated person and think, you know what, I can see why they would think that way. I can almost always justify someone else's stance, because my brain is constantly roving in the realm of possibilities, and I can clearly see that opinions are never formed in a vacuum. When I look at any person, it's as if I'm given a deeper vision that sees backwards and forwards in time, that leaves room for their backstory as well as their future. Because of this vision, I am always thinking about the reasons why people believe what they believe. I seldom forget that there is always an explanation, always a journey, and (this is the key part) always, always, always a chance that I might have come to the same conclusion, had circumstances been different in my life. I am haunted by this awareness.
And I can relate to a vast array of individuals who have absolutely nothing in common with one another. It doesn't matter if you're covered in tattoos with half your head shaved and profanities casually streaming out of your mouth, or stuffed into a starched button-up shirt, devoutly religious and desperately shy: chances are I will be able to connect with you. I will feel my way around in our conversation, hit on a commonality, and man, we will start bonding. That's just how it happens for me; I don't know why. I honestly understand people... and that goes for pretty much all people. For real.
Sometimes this open-mindedness of mine leads to awkward moments. For instance, I can listen to someone rant about something, and I'll nod, say yeah, I get it. And then someone else can come along and rant to me about the same issue, but from the opposite perspective, and I'll still sit there and nod and say yeah, I get it. But I say I get it because I still do. That sounds like an impossible contradiction, like maybe I'm either being somewhat dishonest just to keep the peace (I have been guilty of this at times), or maybe I have no convictions of my own and I'm just being unbelievably wishy-washy (this has happened to me before, too). But no, usually, I legitimately do understand both people, both points of view. There are very few times when I cannot get inside the mind of another person and see things from their viewpoint. Some people, some opinions, may take me somewhat longer than others to relate to, but give me a few more seconds and I'll meet you where you are, I promise you.
I love people. I'm not saying this just to say it: I mean it. People matter to me. People absolutely fascinate me. Sometimes I lay awake at night, just thinking about other people's lives, just wondering sincerely what it must feel like to be inside someone else's skull. I toss and turn, realizing that I can never truly know anyone else, and wishing desperately that I could. I want to know people's stories, where they came from, where they're going. I'm interested in the silent space we carry around inside us, the memories looming large in the back of the mind, the atmospheres of the soul.
Sitting next to you, I honestly get chills sometimes, because you, my friend, are a mystery, a masterpiece of secrets and stories; and how will I ever know you in the way that you deserve to be known? How will I ever love you in the way that you deserve to be loved?
I cannot ever achieve this miracle; not in this lifetime, anyway. But I can remain open to the clues that come my way. Yes, my mind is open, and my eyes, and my heart, because I don't want to miss a moment of this life, this world, and the people I meet along the way. I want to feel what exists to be felt, I want to experience everything I possibly can, and I want to give back what I have, which is presence, which is peace, which is love.
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